Writers vs Ritters: The EPIC Battle has a bit of a back story. It started out as a huge list of pet peeves you typically find in fanfiction. But slowly it morphed into the things I hated that authors did - and eventually a combination of the writers I hate most with a ridiculous plot. Overall, it's a parody of a lot of literary things. Originally when I wrote this, my goal was 75,000 words. I got there, and finished the whole story up. So please enjoy how crazy this entire plot is and where it winds up.
The group assembled nervously, glancing at each other as the thunder of their voices quieted. Above them on the platform, their leader, Ane, had moved to the center to peer down at all those prepared for their cause. Some shifted anxiously as they awaited the signal for the battle to begin. Others adjusted their armor and began to woop and holler as their leader stood before them. Clearing her throat, the throng of people fell eerily silent.
“It is incredible to see that we’re all assembled here tonight in this early morning light before the sun rises and we begin this journey. We’re all scared. Some of you won’t return, and some of you will return with your sanity clearly thrown out your brains. Either way… we cannot give up. Giving up will show the enemy that they have won. All of us know this is wrong. The government is trying to keep us silent, but they cannot keep us silent forever. No more attending ridiculous gatherings about some brainless loons running our country. No more parades to show off the mindless gluttons that continue to enrapture the brains of our fellows. This ends today,” she said, looking across the large group. Glancing to her left, Ane could see her two friends, Princess Minari and Dom. Both stood proudly, listening to their fearless leader energizing the soldiers.
Her mind wandered to exactly how this whole escapade had started…. And yet she couldn’t help but laugh that it was complete and utter lunacy. Shaking her head, she grinned at the crowd. Every one cheered, glad to hear her speech. She was an incredible orator that was able to spark fire and fight into anyone.
“Remember that these are not the cartoons or books of yesteryear that we all sought the world to return to. These are real battles, real people… Real minds at stake. If we don’t take charge and make a change for the future, our children and our children’s children will be forced to endure the droll that is coming from these so called ‘Ritters.’ Keep your wits about you. All these weapons are designed to aid us in our quest. Without them and without you, our mission will not succeed. You are the reason we are able to take this battle where it needs to be. We will fight the government and end this. Today we will see sights no one should have to see again. Like those that came to battle before us… The Fellowship, the two kings and two queens of Narnia, and countless others that had to face their troubles and triumph. By succeeding, we will join their ranks and prove to the world that indeed, no human should have to endure this tragedy ever again. Good luck, and may the literary gods be with you all,” she finished, hearing the shouting and cheers as people rejoiced. “To victory!” She screamed, raising her fist in the air. Everyone joined in, and Ane moved off the stage as the soldiers headed towards their stations.
Behind the scenes, she hugged both Dom and Minari, glad to have both at her side. They had done so much for her so far. At first it was all merely talk over coffee; but now it was a full fledged rebellion. Without so much as a single thought or doubt in their minds, the three of them gathered, researched and built an army. These Antis that had joined their group had at first dwindled when the government began to crack down. Shaking her head, she hugged both again.
“We should prepare ourselves, Ane. It’s a long road ahead for all three of us,” Dom said, looking at two of his closest friends. It was nerve wracking to know all three of them were going to be out in the battlefield. Normally a leader would stay behind and allow their troops to fight. But instead of coping out like so many leaders did, the three decided together that they would join their men and women of the Rebel Alliance. This secret underground resistance would rise up and take down the government. Education of the future generations was at stake.
Going down the steps, the three headed to where their own armor and weapons were stored. It was a small hovel that they had moved to in a forest sometime back. That was around when they were first getting discovered at having a large following. Entering the small hovel, Dom moved to his bunk where he saw his armor neatly spread out, weapons assembled on his desk. Looking to the one sitting on his bed, he pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead.
“Don’t worry about me. I just need you to provide me with updates,” he said, knowing that she was going to remain behind and keep track of the scanners and intelligence feeds to provide back up to either of the fronts they were fighting on.
“Keep in contact with me. Or else I’ll come out there and find your dead body myself,” she said, poking him firmly in the chest. Laughing lightly, he hugged her again.
“You have all your armor and weapons?” He asked, wanting to make sure she was safe. Compared to the members they had fighting outside, his love was currently only wearing her lighter armor used mostly in their compound. Dom himself was getting ready to pull on the heavy duty battle wear that all were required to have, but not sport until the need approach.
“Yes, Dom. It’s all by my station ready to be used if we get attacked. I’ve checked it, you’ve checked it… Ane and Minari have both checked my armor. Please stop worrying about me,” she said, watching him as he pulled on the Kevlar vest specially designed for all members. He slipped in his earpiece, which ran under the vest and out the top collar. Tugging on his flak jacket, he quickly zipped it up and then checked the buttons. Inside the pockets were the many weapons and items he’d need in order to get them through the battle safely. Or at least he hoped that was all he needed. Side-stepping to his desk, Dom slipped the other weapons into their places on his belt: his unique gun, tazer, and ammunition followed by his first aid kit and last communication bits.
Taking his helmet in hand, he slid it on and fastened it tightly. There was no way he was going to go into battle without this. Mindless Mortars would be flying about and crash landing across the battlefield. Who knew what else could be out there. Attaching the mouthpiece for his walking talking to his helmet, he turned and faced her once more.“Take care. Alert me if anything happens here,” he said, taking both her hands in his. They kissed for a few moments before he heard the quiet clearing of a throat. Separating in embarrassment, he moved towards his friends, swinging up his backpack onto his shoulders and turning to gaze at her one last time. Dom opened his mouth to speak once more, before he was cut off by a sudden alarm sounding throughout the base. Glancing at her with worry in his eyes, he moved out the door with Ane and Minari ahead of him.